Notice Period

I handed in my notice the moment I found out that I was pregnant with our second child.

I worked hard.

I managed a time that ranged from 9 – 12 people.

My team was responsible for £14m in revenue a year.

We earned commission each month after bringing in enough sales to cover our salary for a year… in margin (that is the money over and above the cost price. So if you had a base salary of £25,000, then you had to achieve that in margin every month before you earned )commission)

I worked in IT Sales.

I closed deals at the £2m mark.

I won Spiffs, which sent my hubby and me on an all-expenses-paid trip to Dubai before Dubai was a thing.

I won M&S Vouchers, Maclaren merchandise, and so much more.

I was pushing for senior leadership.

I was one of two Black women in the business—the other one was my bestie, and although we don’t speak often, she’s still my bestie. She left before me, and I was left behind without her crucial support.

When I started in management, after always being in the top 3 salespeople in the UK every month, I wasn’t great at being a manager.

No one showed me, or any of us who were promoted, how to move from being the queen of your destiny hitting commission to being dependent on other people to do it for you.

No one showed me how to praise my teams’ successes whilst helping them improve in their development areas.

No one told me not to take personal offence when they didn’t hit their targets because it meant that I couldn’t hit mine.

No one knew how depressed I was when my boss would call me at 10:00 am, after I had delivered the figures report for the global company, to tell me, “Your figures are shit!”

No one supported me when I was asked why my daughter was sick again and asked if I thought I should earn commission from my team if I had to go and pick her up – not even HR when one of them found me in tears in the toilet.

It wasn’t until we got a new training manager that things changed in my management. He ran a number of courses; I learned a lot, and I was able to grow into my management style, support my team more effectively, and develop my leadership skills.

A lot of people didn’t like our new training manager – you know why?

He could see the underhand toxic behaviours that were going on in the company, and he called them out.

There were inappropriate relationships—one of the Sales Directors started going out with one of the HR team, and it was clear that information was being shared and staff were being impacted by the conflicts of interest. Two of the other Sales Directors also had a relationship after one of them ended a relationship with Marketing Direct, who promptly left.

Going home to my family after a leadership meeting, deciding what would happen, making plans and talking targets, I would come back the next morning to find everything changed and out of my favour. Why? Because they’d gone to the pub and manoeuvred me out of the equation.

There were inappropriate comments made to female staff, some of which I highlighted and then shunned because it was deemed that I had made too much of something innocent. I mean, a substantially younger female member of staff being asked to take off her knickers and put them in a senior leader male’s drawer was unacceptable.

Our Training Manager wasn’t willing to let things ride, and neither was I. That saw me years later being the coach on his residential management assessment centre for early and potential managers for a leading pharmaceutical company.

When there was a team shake-up, a couple of my low-performing team members were swapped into another team. I had to hire new people, and my sales figures dipped, but not my target. The candidates interviewed for my team that I highlighted as not suitable for a New Business role were hired without my approval.

I wondered how some of those low-performing team members were suddenly hitting target, as I was berated for not helping them do it. It smelt fishy, and soon enough, my team members were showing me that their sales had been coded over to the other team, boosting their sales and robbing my team of well-earned commission.

We were outbound corporate sales, and even sales from the inbound sales team were used to make those low performers look good.

I was stressed – so stressed that I would go home and be unable to speak to my husband and 2-year-old daughter.

I’d get home and sit on the sofa in silence. I wasn’t coping well.

Then, changes started to happen. A finance investigation proved the fraudulent behaviour but at a cost. The lady in finance who did the investigation was being threatened and followed; she was scared.

But when my manager received a redemptive move to another site, our systems and processes changed. I got a new manager, and things initially got better, but the rot was still hanging around.

My new manager provided me with great support, she helped me become a better manager. The assumption that you don’t need support when you manage people is nonsense; however, having mentors, sponsors, and coaches makes all the difference.

Back then, the training manager was my coach. My manager became my biggest champion and helped me see how to use my skills and talents to truly get the best out of my team.

I had team members tell me that I was the best manager they had ever had because I knew the systems back to front, helped them solve their customer service issues, went to bat for them with the warehousing and delivery departments, sat and listened in on calls with them, and helped them close deals. I went through the pipeline with them, gave them a reality check, and then helped them see where else they could find business to meet their targets.

I spent time with them, I coached them, I trained them, and I encouraged them. I challenged and championed them to really go deep into what was happening with their pipeline. I showed them how to ask the difficult questions, solve their clients’ problems and help them become more proficient at closing deals.

That’s how we became a team that hit 120% of target every month.

Everyone started earning more commission, they had better relationships with their clients, they knew what they were doing, and I managed them in a way that made them enjoy what they were doing. They were getting results, and I was again one of the top performers because I’d learned how to help my team perform.

When I left, they called me to tell me that no one came anywhere near close as a manager and that it was a mess. They admitted that they didn’t appreciate what they had in me until I left.

But there was still toxicity, and promises of change were slow to come. I was succeeding, but the stresses were still present, and I just didn’t realise how that was affecting me.

Cue 2001.

I found out that I was pregnant. Truth be told, after my first child, I decided that I wasn’t going to have any more because my birth experience was so traumatic. However, after seeing my daughter have to play on her own after being rejected by a group of kids playing, we made the decision to go for one more child so that she could have a sibling.

I was so happy and excited by the prospect of another mini-me.

I stood in the hallway at a friend’s house eight weeks in and I felt a pain. It felt like period pain. I didn’t understand it. How could I be having period pain?

I left immediately and made the short drive home. Arriving, I went straight to the toilet, and there was blood.

What was going on? I couldn’t really be losing my baby.

I called for hubby, and he installed me on the sofa to rest.

I went back to the toilet, and I felt something. We called the doctor, who sent us to the hospital for a scan.

Our baby was gone.

No requirement for any invasive procedures.

There was nothing left in my womb.

We were devastated.

I couldn’t understand how my baby had gone. Why had my baby gone?

We booked an appointment to see the doctor who, whilst sympathetic, advised us to try again. “You’re primed for pregnancy.” He said.

So, after some weeks off work recovering, grieving, and pulling myself together, we tried again.

I got pregnant instantly.

For me, nothing was worth the health and life of this child. So, the moment that line of the pregnancy test showed me that I had a baby inside, I knew that things had to change.

I went to work and asked my manager for a meeting. We went into one of the offices and sat down.

“I’m pregnant,” I said, “and I’m leaving!”

I handed her my notice and let her know that I would not be waiting for maternity leave.

I gave my three months’ notice and left.

Nothing and no one was worth me losing another baby.

I wanted to ensure that my stress levels were reduced and that I could be calm and prepared for this little one growing in my womb.

Little Lauren McQueen was born in 2002, and she’s such a blessing.

I’ve experienced workplace stress.

I’ve experienced workplace bullying.

I’ve experienced the pressure of being responsible for a team.

I’ve experienced the impact of being responsible for aggressive targets and high revenues.

I’ve had to develop people.

I’ve sacrificed my family time for the job.

I’ve sacrificed my health for it, too.

Even when I was sick, I worked incredibly hard to get contracts out to clients.

I’ve walked away, preferring to struggle financially rather than endure any more physical impacts on my body.

I worked my notice period, I left, and I never looked back.

I’ve spent the last 20 years plus working with women who have and are experiencing these things.  

I work with women in leadership, and I help them navigate their work and lives strategically.

This is just one of the stories on the road that I have travelled. Our experiences as women in the workplace are challenging, exhilarating and complex. Sometimes, you need someone to walk them with you to help you stay sane, grounded and focused.

You are not alone. Your story is one that many of us have experienced.

My mission is to walk the road of your success on your terms with you.

That’s why I do what I do. 

Contact me to find out more about how I help high-achieving women in leadership earning over six figures realign with themselves, make strategic moves, and take back control of their careers, salary and their lives.