What Got You Here

I didn’t go to university.

I don’t have an MBA

I’m not part of the FRSA

I do not have lots of letters after my name.

I have learned by doing.

That is my best learning style.
I need to get my hands dirty.

I need to give it a go.

I need to talk whilst I learn.

I don’t learn well from online self-directed programmes.

I need to be in the room where it happens.

I made a conscious choice not to go to university back in 1988 – yes, I am that old.

I knew that I would spend two weeks head down working and then the next six weeks faffing about.

I knew that coming out of university with a three wasn’t where my aspirations lay, and I wasn’t sure that I had the level of concentration and devotion needed to achieve what I knew I was capable of.

Let me add to that. I am an A ‘Level English Literature babe. I had the best English Literature teachers in six forms: two white women who had travelled the world, lived in various countries, had an eclectic mix of paraphernalia in their homes, and were passionate about literature. What made these two women special to me is that they saw talent and encouraged it.

Not only did they do that, but they bucked all of the trends because our A ‘Level English Literature course was based on Common Wealth Literature – Chinua Achebe anyone?

Words like juxtaposition and tautological were my jam. I learned how to decipher a text and truly explore why the author used one word over another. I loved reading – especially novels.  I still do, as I am currently wading through Steve Erikson’s “Malazan Book of the Fallen” series, each of which has 774 – 943 pages.

However, I made a fatal mistake in my revision for my English Literature exam, which definitely steered many of my early decisions.  

Whilst I loved Shakespeare, I could not get down with Pilgrims Progress. It annoyed me, and so I didn’t read it. I would dip in and dip out, but something about it irked me to the extent that I chose to shun it in preference for the other texts I enjoyed far more.

So, I didn’t revise it, apart from a cursory glance.

Exam day came, and I felt fully prepared to kick ass – I had been predicted at least a B.

I opened the paper, and Pilgrim’s Progress, in all its glory, demanded answers from me that I did not have.

I got an E in that A ‘Level, a devasting blow to the confidence that I had in myself and my beloved English Literature.

I picked myself up and went to college, keen to assert that I was capable of achieving the grade that I knew was within my grasp.

I left the cocoon of my sixth form, my English teachers, and the co-joined schools I had attended since I was 11—the schools that every one of my five older sisters had attended ahead of me. I left a school that knew the Chambers Sisters and their not-to-be-messed-with Mother and ventured into a new world.

College was a different matter altogether. I showed up to those classes and experienced great disappointment.

At the time, I didn’t realise what I had in those two English Literature teachers at Guthlaxton College until I left.

Gone was the interrogation of the text, the encouragement to decipher each word used, and the questioning of the author’s motives. Gone was the value my teachers had seen in me and my contribution, as it was replaced with a preference for anything but a Black girl’s view.

In my previous classes, there was no right or wrong, just your interpretation of the text. I saw it in these new classes and was stung by the teacher extolling the virtues of what the white girls said (much of which didn’t actually make sense) and shutting down everything I proffered.

So, I left. Literature is to be explored and enjoyed, not crushed. I knew that an E was a grade not the one I was capable of, but even back then, I wasn’t up for the racism I knew that I was experiencing that would hinder my progress. I’d already experienced that in my sociology class with a teacher who only expected failure from my hue and therefore gave me an expected grade of a U with no help to improve it. Not me, not again!

So, I went to work full time. I had already been working part-time at McDonald’s, where I progressed quickly to a 5-star White Badge and won employee of the year in my first six months. I helped open the Hinckley branch and others. I excelled, but Mikki Dee’s was never in my sights as a full-time job, even if they were keen for me to move into management and go to McDonald’s University.

I learned a lot there about upselling, repeatable systems and processes, counting waste, how to turn lay ten and so much more. I never feel embarrassed about my time there. Back then, it was a great training ground for the world of work and understanding business. McDonald’s isn’t a burger company; it’s a property company; they earn a lot of money from renting to franchisees.

Full time, I started in the customer service of Financial Service. I was the person who had thoughts views and opinions on how best some of our systems and processes worked. I liked to understand the why, what, and how of what I did so that I could deliver well. I solved problems that others struggled with because being personable, sorting out the issues and following backup always makes a difference in a customer’s experience.

That wasn’t what was expected from me and at times it led me into hot water. It was in this first full-time job that I learned the hard way not to speak for anyone else but myself. I stood up for what we all agreed was right and needed to change. When I looked around at all those encouraging me to stand up, they were not there. Every one of them denying their agreement and kowtowing to the status quo. NEVER AGAIN!

I moved to London, with no job in place, to spend time in the same city as my then boyfriend, now husband, so that we could see if we could make it!

I applied for another job in financial services customer service and was given a psychometric test.

I came out as the ideal salesperson and was offered the job of a financial adviser, which I took and truly embraced.

I could sell and sell well, coming in as one of the top salespeople out of 100 tied consultants for Irish Life through an agency.

I learned about financial products, such as pensions, life insurance, private health insurance, and much more—the difference between assurance and insurance, whole of life, level term and decreasing term assurance. The importance of trusts and wills, and that was not all.

My company car taught me to become a truly confident driver on the roads of London and surrounding suburbs. In my white Ford escort (fondly named Bunty), I could take on just about anyone. I gained an assurity in myself that bolstered me.

But there are setbacks—sometimes, I would arrive at a potential client’s home with whom I had had a grand time on the phone only to be looked at like dirt on their shoe. It was clear from their faces that they couldn’t believe that they had been chatting away to a Black person who was now standing at their door. They pretended they didn’t know who I was looking for or who I was.

Some would let me in and have the conversation, but I could see in their face that no matter how much I stressed the importance of preparing for retirement and or ensuring that their children and partner were taken care of should they die, it would never be me that they signed with.

The rules changed regarding commission, and one too many clawbacks saw me leave the industry for good.

I’ve run reception at a Reggae record company in West London for a few days. They wanted me to stay, but I couldn’t imagine doing anything more mind-numbing. I was built for greater things—I take nothing away from those who love the job—but it was not for me.

Through a contact, I ended up running the office for a small courier company and boy, that came with some serious challenges and issues.

I got hired by a small IT company (there were four of us, one based in Birmingham). That was my first introduction to IT sales, which I thoroughly enjoyed, but I was challenged as the owners were a Chinese couple who spoke most of the day in Mandarin to each other. I felt left out. I appreciate that their native language was the easiest way to communicate for them, but I also knew that there were times when they were talking about me. It was uncomfortable.

That experience gave me a baptism of fire into modems and IT equipment. One that would lead me to my corporate sales role, which I spoke about in my previous blog.

These roles and journeys taught me so much about people, sales, questioning skills, human behaviour, and more.

When I left that corporate sales management role back in 2001, I wasn’t sure what my next role would be, what I should learn, or how to move forward. I didn’t know how best to use my skills.

I started sales consulting, business consulting and working with people. In 2004, I got myself a career loan from Barclays Bank and took my first coaching course. It was brand new back then and I knew that I wanted to have frameworks to be able to work with my clients and best help them. I knew that my ability to ask meaningful questions and help people experience light bulb moments was what I wanted to do. I just wasn’t sure how to make it a thing. That course helped me and started me on a journey of discovery and delivery that informs what I do now.

This is by no means the full extent of what I have done. The stages I have hosted and spoken on. The companies that I have worked with and the clients that I have supported. The customer and sales training I have delivered. The lives I’ve positively impacted. The supper clubs, luncheons and more.

Does it speak to the chairing of my children’s school PTA and all that I achieved there? To the church boards I’ve sat on, church roles I have held, and clubs I’ve been involved in? To the many successes and challenges I have stored away in my brain, which inform my worldview today? No!!

Does it speak to the struggles and joys of marriage, holding down a relationship, bearing and raising children, managing personal finances, extended family expectations and whatnot? No!!

There are all these things and more. A lifetime more

It says so much about the complexity of our human existence.

So much about the character that we have built over our lifetime.

So much for being an ever-evolving human being applying multiple aspects of who we are to the life we lead.

I wonder what you would discover about yourself if you were to take a moment to review your life and all that you have done and experienced.

What tenacity, resilience, self-determination, confidence, skills, talents, attributes and achievements would you discover about yourself?

What if you stopped looking at yourself through the lens of letters, whether you have them or not, and started looking through the content, context, experience and breadth of who you are and what you have done?

How would you view yourself differently?

Writing this has been cathartic as I recognise the depth and breadth of my own experiences – the knowledge and experience that I have gained through my doing.

The learning I gained in school, which at the time I thought meant nothing, is the foundation of my journey today.

I tell you all of this because I want you to understand that whilst those letters helped shape you, they are not all of you.

You are a uniquely complex and powerful person.

Every experience you have had has moved you to here.

You are worthy of your best.

My hope for you is that you will take a moment and thoughtfully consider your journey with compassion and recognise just how far you have come and how wonderful you are.

Appreciate what got you here.

It’s beautiful!