I have had an interesting summer, thus far.
I planned to do a whole load of things around my business.
I wanted to ensure that all of my back office was reviewed and updated.
I wanted to go hell for leather on cleaning up and ensuring that everything was as slick as it could be.
I am someone who can do both macro and micro when it comes to work. I have the vision, and I can see the minute details as well. It’s got to be just right!
But this summer had different plans for me.
I’ve felt the calling to rest and just be, and things will work themselves out. I knew that that was what I was supposed to do, but I kept going.
The week after The Brilliance Summit was supposed to be a holiday – it turned into work. I couldn’t switch off because there were loose ends to tie up. Then, the following week, my EA had the week off, so I needed to be on so that I could deal with anything that required dealing with.
Then it was my birthday, and it seemed that I was just going to keep on going until my bestie told me that he didn’t want to speak to me again unless I had booked a holiday.
I knew he was right.
I was exhausted.
Believe me, I have done a lot with a small team.
Over the last 18 months, I have:
- Completely renovated our 4-bedroom house
- Rebranded Madeline McQueen
- Branded my company Magnificently You Ltd
- Moved most of my business to Magnificently You Ltd
- Offboarded staff
- Onboarded staff
- Reviewed and updated The Compass Club website
- Delivered on The Compass Club
- Created The Brilliance Summit
- Delivered The Brilliance Summit
- Delivered an 11-episode series of The Brilliance Summit Podcast
- Created The Brilliance Summit App
- Delivered and Offboarded a Google Elevate+ Coaching Cohort
- Onboarded and delivered and offboard another Google Elevate + Cohort
- Designed and Delivered on the Google Momentum programme
- Completely recreated the Madeline McQueen website
- Serviced my existing executive coaching clients
- Delivered speeches for clients such as Tag GB, Omniwomen, Thresholds, The Marketing Society, Police Scotland, ITV,
- Delivered for Morning Star, Sign Salad and Saatchi & Saatchi,
- Went to America for a business development course/conference
- Invested in my health with health coaching with Greg Fearon
- Invested in counselling
- Invested in Breathwork counselling
- Worked in the Diverse Wisdom book proposal programme by Hay Hay Publishers
- Finished a personal/business development programme that I invested in.
- Joined The Black Talent Awards Judging Panel
- Continued to sit on the board of NoMore.org
- Ended my time as Chair of the Board for DINN
- Was a member of The Links
- Supported by daughters
- Still run a business, Q Squared Ltd, with hubby David McQueen
Believe me, there is much more, I’m tired just typing and thinking about it!!
I am a capable human being, and logging what I have done shows me that, but is it all necessary?
This April, I took a much-needed break with my husband, and I realised something. Some of the overwhelm that I have faced is my own fault!
Oh, my goodness, this was a revelation.
It’s me that’s doing it!
I realised that in my eagerness to be outstanding, I was adding to an already full plate and ignoring what my body was telling me.
I was creating overwhelm.
It was my friend Iesha Small who messaged me and told me that it didn’t matter what happened with The Brilliance Summit, I’d already made it a success. She said that corporate companies don’t even pull off what I was pulling off with an exceptionally small team. A summit, an app and a podcast!
I appreciated her message so much. It also made me realise that no one else but me had added all of that to my plate.
The Brilliance Summit is indicative of how I operate, it’s also indicative of how easy it is to create overwhelm. Whilst I am truly proud of what I have achieved, I also ask myself was all of it necessary?
So let me ask you:
How much of your overwhelm has been created by you?
Now before you get your back up. Take a moment and sit with it.
How much do you take on that isn’t, actually, yours?
How many of your boundaries do you breach to make it OK for someone else?
How often have you taken on that extra something when you were already exhausted?
Did that thing really need to be done this weekend after a heavy week at work?
Did you really need to take on that project that isn’t related to your job function, but you felt that since someone had to do it, it had to be you?
Did you choose not to delegate because you thought it would be quicker to do it yourself?
Did you take on that board role, knowing you were stacked but wanted to use it for profile raising?
“If I don’t do it, no one else will“
The “If I don’t do it, no one else will” mantra that you have been running with for so long, even if it’s no longer true, has been embedded in your operating system. It’s been running you rather than you managing it, and it’s impacting your everyday experiences, energy, and joy.
It’s time to let it go.
You see, whether you didn’t hold your boundaries or chose to say yes, when you knew you didn’t have the capacity, you may have been added to your plate and your overwhelm.
My revelation in April has had me thinking differently about what I choose to take on.
It’s taken a little while to sink into my psyche. However, it has been working into the depths of my being, in the background.
Remember all of those busy plans that I had in my mind for this summer? They have been slowly but surely thrown out of the window.
Along with it, has come the question, “What do I need to let go of?”
And so, I’ve been letting go of things.
I’ve been questioning what serves me and what doesn’t serve me. Where is my energy and time best spent?
Taking the time out to self-reflect and explore your truths is time well spent. It’s how you develop, grow and change your experiences.
Here are some questions that you can ask yourself to help you reduce your overwhelm:
What do you need to say No to?
What’s taking you away from doing what you really want to do?
Who do you need to delegate to to regain your time and energy?
What no longer serves you that needs to be released?
Where are you giving time and energy that doesn’t yield rewards for you?
How can you take back your power?
Who do you need to take back your power from?
What’s not your job, that you find yourself doing?
What will you do differently?
How will you decide that enough is enough?
Who’s the beneficiary in all of this doing, is it really me?
This is a rallying cry for you to stop taking on more than you can realistically handle, overwhelming and overstressing yourself
Too many of us are suffering from health problems because everything is about work and doing and not enough is about resting. Even living the lives we want to live is left on the shelf, in pursuit of making it all right for other people.
Sometimes, we support everyone but ourselves.
As my good friend and ex-client Kerrita McClaughlyn would say;
“Stop setting yourself on fire to keep other people warm!
Oomph!!
By taking a moment to consider the consequences of taking on more and holding to your boundaries, you will gain back time. That’s time that you can use to do things for you. The things that you really want to do but have not created the space for.
The things that will lead you to find joy and fulfilment and reduce illness and resentment.
So, what do you need to do differently to reduce the overwhelm that you create in your life?
PS: Before you come up with the bog-standard answer of ‘I have no choice’ note that we always have choices, it’s whether or not we are courageous enough to choose what we want and/or challenge what isn’t working.
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