You Are The Creator Of Your Overwhelm!

Lifestyle | 03 September 2024

Writen By Madeline McQueen

https://www.madelinemcqueen.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/0324.png

I have had an interesting summer, thus far.

I planned to do a whole load of things around my business.

I wanted to ensure that all of my back office was reviewed and updated.

I wanted to go hell for leather on cleaning up and ensuring that everything was as slick as it could be.

I am someone who can do both macro and micro when it comes to work. I have the vision, and I can see the minute details as well. It’s got to be just right!

But this summer had different plans for me.

I’ve felt the calling to rest and just be, and things will work themselves out. I knew that that was what I was supposed to do, but I kept going.

The week after The Brilliance Summit was supposed to be a holiday – it turned into work. I couldn’t switch off because there were loose ends to tie up. Then, the following week, my EA had the week off, so I needed to be on so that I could deal with anything that required dealing with.

Then it was my birthday, and it seemed that I was just going to keep on going until my bestie told me that he didn’t want to speak to me again unless I had booked a holiday.

I knew he was right.

I was exhausted.

Believe me, I have done a lot with a small team.

Over the last 18 months, I have:

Believe me, there is much more, I’m tired just typing and thinking about it!!

I am a capable human being, and logging what I have done shows me that, but is it all necessary?

This April, I took a much-needed break with my husband, and I realised something. Some of the overwhelm that I have faced is my own fault!

Oh, my goodness, this was a revelation.

It’s me that’s doing it!

I realised that in my eagerness to be outstanding, I was adding to an already full plate and ignoring what my body was telling me.

I was creating overwhelm.

It was my friend Iesha Small who messaged me and told me that it didn’t matter what happened with The Brilliance Summit, I’d already made it a success. She said that corporate companies don’t even pull off what I was pulling off with an exceptionally small team. A summit, an app and a podcast!

I appreciated her message so much. It also made me realise that no one else but me had added all of that to my plate.

The Brilliance Summit is indicative of how I operate, it’s also indicative of how easy it is to create overwhelm. Whilst I am truly proud of what I have achieved, I also ask myself was all of it necessary?

So let me ask you:

How much of your overwhelm has been created by you?

Now before you get your back up. Take a moment and sit with it.

How much do you take on that isn’t, actually, yours?

How many of your boundaries do you breach to make it OK for someone else?

How often have you taken on that extra something when you were already exhausted?

Did that thing really need to be done this weekend after a heavy week at work?

Did you really need to take on that project that isn’t related to your job function, but you felt that since someone had to do it, it had to be you?

Did you choose not to delegate because you thought it would be quicker to do it yourself?

Did you take on that board role, knowing you were stacked but wanted to use it for profile raising?

If I don’t do it, no one else will

The “If I don’t do it, no one else will” mantra that you have been running with for so long, even if it’s no longer true, has been embedded in your operating system. It’s been running you rather than you managing it, and it’s impacting your everyday experiences, energy, and joy.

It’s time to let it go.

You see, whether you didn’t hold your boundaries or chose to say yes, when you knew you didn’t have the capacity, you may have been added to your plate and your overwhelm. 

My revelation in April has had me thinking differently about what I choose to take on.

It’s taken a little while to sink into my psyche. However, it has been working into the depths of my being, in the background.

Remember all of those busy plans that I had in my mind for this summer? They have been slowly but surely thrown out of the window.

Along with it, has come the question, “What do I need to let go of?”

And so, I’ve been letting go of things.

I’ve been questioning what serves me and what doesn’t serve me. Where is my energy and time best spent?

Taking the time out to self-reflect and explore your truths is time well spent. It’s how you develop, grow and change your experiences.

Here are some questions that you can ask yourself to help you reduce your overwhelm:

What do you need to say No to?

What’s taking you away from doing what you really want to do?

Who do you need to delegate to to regain your time and energy?

What no longer serves you that needs to be released?

Where are you giving time and energy that doesn’t yield rewards for you?

How can you take back your power? 

Who do you need to take back your power from?

What’s not your job, that you find yourself doing?

What will you do differently?

How will you decide that enough is enough?

Who’s the beneficiary in all of this doing, is it really me?

This is a rallying cry for you to stop taking on more than you can realistically handle, overwhelming and overstressing yourself

Too many of us are suffering from health problems because everything is about work and doing and not enough is about resting. Even living the lives we want to live is left on the shelf, in pursuit of making it all right for other people.

Sometimes, we support everyone but ourselves.

As my good friend and ex-client Kerrita McClaughlyn would say;

“Stop setting yourself on fire to keep other people warm!

Oomph!!

By taking a moment to consider the consequences of taking on more and holding to your boundaries, you will gain back time. That’s time that you can use to do things for you. The things that you really want to do but have not created the space for.

The things that will lead you to find joy and fulfilment and reduce illness and resentment.

So, what do you need to do differently to reduce the overwhelm that you create in your life?

PS: Before you come up with the bog-standard answer of ‘I have no choice’ note that we always have choices, it’s whether or not we are courageous enough to choose what we want and/or challenge what isn’t working.


Comments (0)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Blog

More like this

Lifestyle / 21 December 2023

Why Corporate Doesn’t Feel Good Anymore

You got the education, you earned the degree, and then you went straight into the corporate world. It’s what felt right

You got the education, you earned...

Wellbeing / 21 December 2023

Five Tips to Grow Your Confidence

It typically happens sometime in the middle of your working career. You realise you ended up in a place where you’re.

It typically happens sometime in the...

Say Yes To Education
Lifestyle / 21 December 2023

Say Yes To Education

Go ahead, fill in that blank with whatever you want. Speak another language. Drive a motorcycle.

Go ahead, fill in that blank...

The Pay Gap - No One is Talking About 1
Wellbeing / 21 December 2023

The Pay Gap – No One is Talking About

I’m sure you’ve heard the term “pay gap” once or twice in your time.

I’m sure you’ve heard the term...

You Don’t Owe Eternal Loyalty to Your Employer
Wellbeing / 21 December 2023

You Don’t Owe Eternal Loyalty to Your Employer

You’ve been at your workplace for a decade. Maybe more. Every lunch break, you can guess what

You’ve been at your workplace for...

Lifestyle / Wellbeing / 21 December 2023

How to Access Your Individual Genius

Since you clicked on the link, opened up this blog, and made it to this page, I want you to go ahead

Since you clicked on the link,...

Lifestyle / 21 December 2023

Breaking Our Own Bias

International Women’s Day saw organisations called out for the willingness to rush to celebrate

International Women’s Day saw organisations called...

Wellbeing / 21 December 2023

The BUT that’s Blocking You

Before you think that I am talking about something weirdly sexual, let me stop you and clarify right now.

Before you think that I am...

Wellbeing / 21 December 2023

Watch Out There’s A Thief About

I don’t know if you have been through this before. I know that I have. 

I don’t know if you have...

Lifestyle / 21 December 2023

Who’s Voice Is In Your Head

Let's be honest, some of the narratives that are guiding us are not our own.

Let's be honest, some of the...

View more Madeline McQueen

Let’s keep in touch!

Join the movement of women who are beating biased systems, changing their trajectory and amplifying their experience of life.

Don’t be a stranger! Drop your details below for exclusive invitations, news, and insights.

    Thank you for signing up

    Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit. Voluptatum optio esse laboriosam amet nisi nesciunt odio magni quas sint eveniet nostrum, facere corporis nihil illum error molestias? Eaque porro repellat iure quae rem vitae aut.

    Madeline McQueen